- Get super frustrated that you cannot drag and drop new TV to your iphone. Have some deja vu - you've been through this before. When you finished this task three weeks ago in anticipation of this very trip.
- Conjure a blizzard at your first destination, which delays your flight 2 hours for what was to be a 2.5 hours layover. This a great way to add drama to your trip and a potential workout. You may have worked up a sweat in the first few hours of a 30 hour journey, but you will enjoy the free booze all that much more.
- Develop a severe addiction to chapstick. Tip: Bras make a great pocket for such small items in a pinch.
- Drop heavily dressed salad all over yourself at the first meal.
- Don't play any of the games you thought would be good for the plane.
- Stay hydrated!
- Go to the bathroom on the plane, if only to not sit for 9+ hours straight. It is okay. Everybody will understand. Warning: International flight bathrooms are not any better than domestic.
- Revel in having no rowmates. Prerequisite: Item 2. Conjure a blizzard.
- Curse not bringing a gentler reading light. Like the one in your checked baggage.
- Bringing 3 or 4 excellent (and pretty serious) books about your destination provides the weary traveler with another rare opportunity for exercise. Be sure to bring at least one lighter volume for actual reading.
- Realize you've totally overlooked Indian poetry in your new collection. What is wrong with you?
- Ask for two tiny glasses of wine, fearing they will not come by again for like ever. Sheepishly have your first glass topped off when they return in 10 minutes.
- Confuse "Local time at destination" with expected arrival - panic. Realize no self respecting German airline would use nonmilitary time, so that can't possibly be when you land.
- Learn to chair dance.
- Remind yourself that science is awesome and you are more likely to be killed by a donkey than in a commercial airplane crash and have another tiny glass of wine.
- Countdown in increasingly small intervals the time left to touchdown. Tip: This is made more difficult by reading, which does not conveniently demarcate the passage of time like TV and movies.
- Brush your teeth between each flight.
- Change into warm fuzzy socks and pack away stinky shoes before last flight, swapping one embarrassment for another.
- Take two sleeping pills in the first place or admit defeat; your body is pretty damn sure it is 11am and you should be awake. Special thanks to Greg for providing the sleeping pills!
- Pack your carry on as though it is all you are taking for a short trip because your checked bags cannot run as fast as you in a blizzard.
- Barely manage to contain short bursts of sheer excitement.
View from the plane in Denver:
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